my step...
I'm sure it has a lot to do with the sun staying out longer
and the weather getting warmer, but I start feeling lighter,
more carefree and optimistic.
Can you relate?
If so, I'd like to encourage you to harness that energy and
positivity and use it toward creating a love filled (and drama-
free!) summer beyond your wildest expectations.
You *ABSOLUTELY* have the power to make it happen!
And if you need a little help getting into that positive
frame of mind, I can help with that too.
In fact, that's what today's email is all about. So slather
on the SPF, bust out your bikini, and read on for a DISH that
will prepare you to dive right into summer!
************************************************************
DRAMA OF THE WEEK:
"I Don't Want to Be Single This Summer!"
************************************************************
"Paige,
For some reason I am depressed about summer being around the
corner. I think it's because I'm single.
I don't want to go to all the parties and barbecues and
weddings by myself. And I want to be able to enjoy all the
romantic summer stuff(going to the beach, outdoor dinners,
etc) with a nice guy! That's not too much to ask is it???
I feel like I'm never going to meet a man and I'm going to
spend my summer alone.
Help!
Amanda
Huntington, NY"
************************************************************
PAIGE'S DATING DISH TIP: "Three Simple Steps For
Successful Summer Dating"
************************************************************
"Hi Amanda,
Thanks for writing and for bringing up such a timely topic.
I understand why the rising temperatures have got you feeling down.
HOWEVER, today I want to help you achieve a whole new outlook on
your love life and seize the unique opportunities that summer
provides to attract and meet great men, as well as have an all-
around blast.
I'm going to show you how in 3 Simple Steps:
*STEP 1: TALK THE (SELF) TALK*
First things first... You'll want to adjust your attitude to
ensure that you stop any self-defeating thoughts that could be
sabotaging your chances to meet someone special.
As I say in "Dating Without Drama" (you'll find this in your
Self-Discovery Workbook that comes along with your eBook):
"You may not realize it, but all day long, every day, you're having
a conversation with yourself. You make sense of the world around
you, process information, and make decisions all with the help of
the inner-dialogue in your mind.
This is commonly referred to as self-talk.
Your thoughts may range from neutral observations "That wall is
bright red," to extremely positive "Today's going to be a great
day," to very negative, "I'll NEVER find a boyfriend."
Although your self-talk usually runs on "autopilot," you absolutely
can control your thoughts (specifically, stop your negative self-
talk and turn it into positive self-talk) when you put your mind to
it.
This is good news because your self-talk actually has a significant
impact on your self-esteem and even the outcome of your actions in
your everyday life.
Here's an example: Let's say you walk around every day thinking
"I'll never meet a man... I'll never meet a man... I'll never meet
a man."
Guess what? Chances are good that you won't!
Your words have a very powerful effect on you and you'll actually
start to believe that you'll never meet a man. You'll cease to
carry yourself with confidence - you'll slump your shoulders over,
have a scowl on your face, you won't make eye contact with men (all
of these are visual cues that say to men, "Stay away! I'm
unapproachable! If you try to talk to me I will reject you!"
And no man likes rejection, so why would he take a chance to
approach you?).
Now what if you walked out of the house every morning thinking
"Today could be the day that I'll meet someone really special"?
How would that change your outlook?
You'd dress your best, take pride in your appearance, straighten up
your posture and walk with a confident spring in your step and a
smile on your face. When that handsome man accidentally bumps into
you with his shopping cart at the grocery store, you'll smile
flirtatiously because, in your mind, you'll be thinking "I wonder
if he's the special man I'm supposed to meet!"
This friendly, positive reaction (rather than the sarcastic
"WELL EXCUUUSE ME" that you'd grumble as a result of your negative,
"see, all men are jerks" self-talk) just might encourage that cute
shopper to ask if you know where he can find the paper towels...
and if he can get your phone number!
It's easy to re-program your self-talk...it just takes a little
awareness and some practice.
I show you exactly how to do that in Chapter 2 of "Dating Without
Drama"
*STEP 2: WALK THE WALK*
Now that you've got yourself believing (through positive self talk)
that THIS IS THE SUMMER YOU'RE GOING TO MEET A SPECIAL MAN
(or many great men!), you've got to carry yourself accordingly.
One of the best things about summer (that you can definitely use to
your advantage) is all the fun fashions. This is the most feminine
season of all, so make a decision today that you are going to
create a flirty summer look and WORK IT!
Ditch the drab colors and heavy fabrics in favor of bright colors
and swingy skirts and sundresses. You don't have to spend a lot of
money or even dress up too much - a casual A-line skirt paired with
a crisp white t-shirt and cute flip flops (don't forget the pedi!)
will have men's heads turning, guaranteed.
Then, as I mentioned in Step 1 (and you'll hear more about in the
phenomenal success story below), straighten up your posture and
smile. You'll instantly look 5 pounds thinner and 5 years younger,
and you'll radiate the kind of confidence that men gravitate toward.
Summer love, here you come!
and finally...
*STEP 3: GET OUT THERE*
In the winter (and even the chillier days of spring), it can seem
easier to hibernate at home rather than brave the dating scene. I
totally get how a blind date can seem a whole lot less appealing
when you've got a warm pair of PJs, Netflix, and a pint of Cookie
Dough ice cream waiting at home.
But now it's warming up, your favorite TV shows are heading into
rerun season, and you're running out of excuses to stay inside.
Why not use that as motivation to catapult you off your couch and
into the world outside your apartment?
Do yourself a favor and ACCEPT EVERY SOCIAL INVITATION you are
offered.
Summer garden party? Count you in!
Cousin Kelly's Wedding (even though she's a total bridezilla)?
RSVP: Yes!
Why? Because these season-specific events and gatherings provide
out-of-the-ordinary opportunities to meet and mix with quality men
you might not otherwise encounter on the bar scene.
Plus, you'll have built-in conversation starters that you wouldn't
if you were meeting out on the 'scene.' For example:
"So, how do you know the host of this party?"
"Are you a friend of the groom or the bridezilla - oops, I mean
bride?"
"You're not REALLY going to take the last hot dog bun, are you?"
(she jokes flirtatiously to the cute man at the grill...)
During this sunny, carefree time of year, opportunities abound to
strike up light, fun conversations that are low-risk on your part
and have high potential to pave the way to a fun summer romance.
One final thought: Why not RESIST THE URGE TO FOCUS ON FINDING
A BOYFRIEND and instead decide that you are open to enjoying your
summer by CASUALLY DATING?
Now I'm not saying that you can't meet a fabulous man this weekend
and develop a serious love affair (with your new attitude, it could
very well happen!)...
But sometimes just TAKING THE PRESSURE OFF yourself by setting
shorter-term goals can actually make you happier with your
situation AND more attractive in general!
Guys have this uncanny ability to sense when a woman has an agenda
("I need to find a man and lock down a relationship before Cousin
Kelly's wedding so I have a 'plus one'...") and it can send them
running in the other direction.
On the flip side, they can also read your signals when your frame
of mind is, "It's summer...I want to get out and have a great time,
and if this fun flirtation progresses into something more, even
better!" This attitude is infinitely more attractive to a man.
So instead of thinking "I need a boyfriend this summer," I
challenge you to decide: "I'm going to get out there, meet some
great guys, and have a FUN, FLIRTY, FABULOUS SUMMER!"