Well it's officially summer, which means we've reached that
time of year again...
Every time you flip on the TV you're bombarded by another
"David's Bridal" commercial.
You can't drive anywhere on a Saturday without passing by a
park or church lawn that's crawling with a ginormous bridal
party involved in their post-wedding photo shoot.
And each time you open your mailbox, you find it's crammed with
"Save the Date!" reminders, "Come to Mindy's Bridal Shower!"
cards...
...and don't get you started on those wedding invitations
that weigh about four pounds and have a million little pieces
of paper in them ("Reserve your hotel room!"; "Directions to
the ceremony!"; "Tracy and Phil are registered at Bed, Bath
and Beyond!"; "RSVP to the post-wedding brunch!")
THEN out floats the most dreaded piece of paper of all:
the R.S.V.P. card:
(SFX: The theme song from the "Psycho" shower scene)
"You ... AND GUEST ___ will attend, ___will not attend."
ARGHHHHH!!!
It's like, "Oh THANKS, Tracy who I haven't heard from since college,
not only are YOU getting married and I'm not, but now I have to
stress out trying to figure out who my 'AND GUEST' will be?!?!?"
The only thing worse were if you had to be a BRIDESMAID!!!
(Can you tell I went through enough wedding seasons single to
commiserate?!?)
Well before you have a "wish-I-was-a-Bride"-zilla freak out,
your good friend Paige is here to come to your rescue!
We're gonna get through this together...
...we're going to do it with style and the fabulosity of a true
"Dating Without Drama" diva...
...and (GASP) we're even going to have FUN AND improve that
dating life of yours in the process.
(And who knows... it might just be Y-O-U sending out that four
pound invitation next summer! Wahooo!)
Are you ready to be SHOWERED with some Dating Dish tips?
Alright miss thing... let's DISH!
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PAIGE'S NO-DRAMA "WEDDING SEASON SURVIVAL GUIDE"
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SURVIVAL TIP #1: Remember that getting married is NOT the end-all,
be-all.
Let's face it... people can get a little wack-a-doo about weddings.
The good news is, you can simply choose NOT to get sucked into
the hype.
A few things to consider:
* You don't have to put up with pressure from family and/or
friends to get hitched. The next time Grandma Phyllis decides
to ask the whole family over dinner why you're still single,
politely reply, "Thanks for your concern but I am very happy
with my life! And when I meet the right man who's worthy enough
to share it with, I'll be sure to let you know."
in fact...
* You may have no desire to get married anytime soon (or again...
or EVER!) and that's ok! This is YOUR life - you can't live it
for anyone else.
* Some people make the mistake of believing that love is a race,
and a big wedding is the finish line. They convince themselves
that if they can just get a ring on their finger, their life
will magically become "perfect."
You and I both know that's not true.
So take each day as it comes, and be happy with your beautiful
life. When the time is right for you to get married (if you so
choose), you'll be better prepared than those misguided souls
who thought marriage would be a "quick fix" for their
inner discontent.
SURVIVAL TIP #2: Accept what IS, and let go of how you WISH it was.
Ok, it's understandable that your first reaction might be,
"I'm not getting married this summer. This stinks."
Especially when that fact is compounded with seemingly unfair
details, like:
* your (much) younger sister is getting married before you
* an acquaintance is throwing huge church wedding even though
you know for a fact that she's not even faithful to her
fiance
or
* your best friend is getting hitched to some guy she's
only dated for six weeks (and whom you totally dislike)
Well, whatever the situation, it is what it is. The sooner you
accept it, the sooner you'll get to a place where you can focus
on doing what will make YOU happy.
And don't forget, just because a person is getting married doesn't
necessarily mean they're happy. We never know what goes on inside
other people's relationships. You don't have the power to change
circumstances, but you DO have the power to make your own life as
fulfilling and exciting as possible!
If you notice feelings of jealousy and bitterness coming up,
try to let them go. Being happy for your friends (or even
your bridezilla cousin) just FEELS BETTER than holding onto
negative energy. And when you're in a positive place mentally
and emotionally, you are automatically more attractive to
others. (Hellooooo cute groomsman!)
SURVIVAL TIP #3: Don't "obligate" yourself into Wedding Overload
You may feel obligated to go to every shower, bachelorette
party, and wedding you get invited to.
And all those the plane tickets, hotels, dresses, gifts and
open-bar tabs should set you back roughly, oh - every penny
in your bank account.
Truth is, you're only human. There are only 14 weekends in
your summer. Before you R.S.V.P., ask yourself the following
questions:
* Is this a close friend or loved one?
* Have I seen and/or spoken to this person in the past year?
* Will I have fun?
* Can I afford to travel there?
* Will I be disappointed if I don't make it?
If you answer "yes" to the majority of these questions, then
reply "Yes." Otherwise, politely send your regrets (and a
thoughtful gift) and then let yourself off the hook!
SURVIVAL TIP #4: Don't force your "And Guest" situation
So you "AND GUEST" have been invited to a wedding. What to do?
* If you're in an established, serious relationship, this is a
no-brainer... go ahead and ask your man.
* If you're casually dating someone, proceed with caution.
Remember, guys can really read into the wedding thing ("If I go
with her, she'll start thinking about what it would be like for
US to get married"). Plus, other guests at the wedding may assume
you are a serious couple when you show up together, which could
put undue pressure on you both.
If the wedding is in town and you think it'll be a fun time, you
could bring it up by saying casually, "so I was invited to a
friend's wedding and it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.
You're welcome to come as my guest if you like - free dinner and
cocktails! - but no pressure. I can totally bring a friend."
Otherwise, I'd recommend giving him a "pass" on it and
proceeding as if you aren't dating anyone...
* If you're not dating anyone right now, go stag (if you've got
friends and/or family you can hang out with) or
* bring a good guy friend (preferably one who loves to dance!).
SURVIVAL TIP #5: Carpe Reception!
Instead of dreading wedding season, why not recognize it
for what it is: a great opportunity to meet men!
Think about it... weddings are fabulous social situations.
A reception is basically like the bar scene (low lighting,
music and dancing, drinks-a-flowing) except that cocktails
are free and nobody there is a complete stranger -- everyone
is one degree of separation since they know the bride
and/or groom, just like you do!
(In fact, that's an automatic conversation starter:
"So...how do YOU know the happy couple?")
The other unique thing about weddings: for that one day,
love is on everyone's minds.
Witnessing the sacred union of two people usually has a
profound effect on the single guests (men included).
Most are thinking, "I wonder when I'LL find love like that?"
Hmmm....maybe tonight!
(Note: by this I actually mean making a CONNECTION with
another guest that could lead to future dates - NOT hooking up
with the Best Man after 8 Kamikaze shots and catching
the bride's bouquet with your teeth.)
SURVIVAL TIP #6: Celebrate where YOU Are AND Believe That The
Love Life of Your Dreams Will Soon Be a Reality
Take a few moments to recognize how well you're doing
RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
You are beautiful (inside and out), special, smart, funny, and
kind. You have accomplished so much, whether it's career success,
developing a unique talent, being an amazing single mom, or
[insert your own wonderful accomplishment here]!
And what's more, you have made a COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF
to examine your life (which takes guts)
and do what it takes to achieve the fulfilling love life you
know you deserve.
Real love is a journey (which is why marriage can't be the
final destination). By building your confidence, reading
"Dating Without Drama"and applying its principles to your life,
you are closer than ever to finding it.